MAXIMIZE

You can't be all things to all men. You can't always be what others expect of you; there will be some that are satisfied with the decisions you make while there are others who will never be satisfied. So whats the solution to this dilemma? How on earth can one accomplish everything of their heart's desire while making the most of what is given to them?

MAXIMIZE. I can't agree with this word more; sometimes we have multiple responsibilities that all collide into each other, and sometimes when we lose control of these events it can lead to stress, frustration, and unnecessary emotional outbursts. In order to take care of this situation, one needs to MAXIMIZE and FOCUS on whatever topic/subject is at hand. If a person can meditate on these two things during whatever they're doing, they will be able to achieve happiness and accomplishment on their own terms.

If you can't stay at a meeting very long and you feel obligated to stay, maximize your time with the people in the meeting during the time that you are there; speak up, laugh with the person next to you, focus on the meeting topic and get yourself involved. You will realize that life will become more invigorating and fresh when you do so.

I'm not a perfect person. I have flaws just like everyone else. However, i feel that my positivity spreads through my activities because of my decision to maximize my time whenever its given to me. When that happens, you'll become unforgettable to those around you, and you will benefit the most from the experiences you get out of it.

A comparison

This is going to sound random:

but since I don't have a parking permit I usually have to buy one on fridays since I commute to LA right afterwards. Sometimes I compare the parking enforcement people to the Harry Potter dementors and my parking permit as the 'electro petronum' that protects me from getting eaten, or fined, by the evil parking dementors.

Just saying.

blast into the past...someone else's past

I went to a thrift store on sunday to look for a prop for my latest film project. Instead of finding vintage black umbrellas or hats, the books were 50% off. Whoop de doo! I flipped through a lot of them, which were the hardcore rusty ones that you would see from the movies... they kind of left a weird feeling in my fingers, maybe it was from all the dust since when i closed them, a puff would come out from the pages. hmm.
Anyways, this piece of paper slipped out of the book I was going to buy and I looked closely at it. It was a calling card from the 1930s! It was so cool, because the calligraphy looked swift and sophisticated. The stamp was marked in 1938, which made me think how amazing it is... that I'm holding a slip of paper that someone else had held 70 years ago. It brought on a whole wave of questions; is that person still alive now? did they use it as a bookmark for this book i just bought ?(which is called 100 of the best short stories ever written)Who was the calling card written for... a brother? a lover? a business partner? its really really cool.

I was holding an antique in my hands. Something that holds so much history over the past 70 years. For all i know, the card could have just been in the book all that time. I should go thrift store shopping more often, it would show you what you can't find in a history book or a mall.

Life's Path and Outcome

Yesterday was a crammed day. This is usually how my schedule looks on fridays:

9:30 am wake up
11:00 am class
12:00-12:15 grab lunch
12:20-1:40 commute to Los Angeles while eating lunch in car (p.s. one must be highly skilled in order to complete this task cleanly)
1:40-2:00 walk from my car to my internship (free parking is a long ways up)
2:00-7:00 intern at film independent
7:00-8:30 pm drive home

HOWEVER IN YESTERDAY'S CASE THINGS WERE A BIT DIFFERENT, a) I have a mandatory campus reps interview at 6pm b) our usual TA is subbed by another c) MCIA is relying on me to bring their audition videos this year to the party later that night... this was my initial plan:

8:45 am wake up
9:30 am get gas for the long day
10:00 am get to class (i have to go to the earlier discussion because I have to leave my internship earlier for my 6pm meeting)
11:00-1:00pm eat/drive to LA
1:00-4:30 Intern
4:30-6:00 drive back to Irvine
6:00-8:00 pm Campus Reps
8:30- on pm MCIA

.... it looked like a good plan... at first. Little did i know that I should have thought it over through a FEW MORE TIMES.
* WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED*

- I made it to school at 9:40, after getting gas and looking all cute. So i thought i would treat myself to some cyber A breakfast. However, then i realized it was 10:01 and i was LATE TO MY DISCUSSION. I ran to my usual classroom, thinking that stacey must teach there for her 10 am since she teaches her usual 11am right after. but when i got there, the ROOM WAS DARK AND THERE WAS NO ONE THERE. Panicking, i asked random ppl (who were also running late) if they were in stacey's 10am. None of them were, and they also looked at me strangely.
I popped out my computer and did my quick research as to where the classroom was. IT WAS DOWNSTAIRS. i ran down, popped into class late and tried to be subtle. FAIL.

- The drive to Los Angeles wasn't bad. I stopped by albertsons and bought a monster since the drive usually puts me to sleep =/. I got to my internship early (at 12:30) and i started to work right away.

- It was all fun and bunnies until the other interns and i were in the basement, packing up some bags for the spirit awards next week. I told them that I had to be in Irvine by 6. One of them looks up and says, "you should have left an hour ago!!!" That's when i realized... stupid me... LA RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC. Not only that... it was freaking RAINING. It was 3:40 and I told Maisha (my internship supervisor) that i had to leave. One of the other interns suggested that I don't take the 405 back, rather, go on the 10 to the 110 to the 91 to the 605 to the 405.

... whu-what??!

- So if anyone knows how i drive around unfamiliar areas, they know that i get incredibly lost. Plus i don't have a gps system. I decided to go with the new complicated freeway, thinking that even though its a longer way, at least i won't have really bad traffic.
...
i was stuck in traffic for THREE HOURS. I never wanted to shoot myself in the head as much as i did in the rain and traffic. I had to call a few people to reassure myself of the right direction. And then i called matt to tell the campus reps coords of my situation. I honestly thought that i would be able to make it, but i was more than half an hour late.

6:50 pm after trial and error, i finally found the meeting place for the campus reps thingie. the gas tank i filled up in the morning was just about gone by now. I ran to the mesa MPR and apologized profusely with some of the reps. They said it was okay and to just join in on the next activity. I made it just when they were halfway done, and at this point i was unsure if i was able to make enough of an impression. I was quite sad.

By the time I got to the MCIA Valentine's get together, i was dead exhausted. Patrick had been calling me a number of times (without my knowledge) because i had the zeta year auditions. But it was good to end the day with family, watching the history of MCIA (it gets more embarrassing to watch my delta year audition every year), and eating yummy chicken katsu and barbeque from L&L (thanks KDuh). I came home at around 11:30 and crashed.

What a day.

I guess what it really comes down to was an epiphany i had when I was trying to make it back to Irvine from LA. Sure, i was pissed off that not everything was going according to plan, but at the same time, there was a reason why everything wasn't going the way i wanted it to. Whatever made me decide to go the other way, sure it was horrible, but at least i know an alternative way back home. Plus, the most important part was I realized how many people were trying to become campus representatives at the meeting. I really want the job, but maybe everything that has happened has told me that if i don't get it, it really wasn't meant to be. And then i realized... i'm okay with it.
Whatever happens will happen, and despite all of our attempts to arrange our lives how we want them to (like how i do, plan all the time), unexpected things come up that are sometimes our of our control. With that, instead of feeling defeated, just know that there is a reason and purpose as to why it all came about that way.

Trust the process. =)

Dreams

My roommate writes down her dreams in her blogs. She remembers them vividly, all in sequential order. I rarely remember my dreams; usually I'm so exhausted that I black out, leaving me with barely anything to retain.
However, recently I've been having strange dreams, if not nightmares. I dreamt that my whole apartment was filled with cockroaches one night, the next night I dreamt of someone kissing me (kissing doesn't mean kissing in dreams btw), and the next night after that I saw the same person on a stack of chairs, and he's sitting in every single one of them.
Dreams are so unusually creepy, but the last few have been so vivid that I write them down and look up their meanings online. Freudian psychology is such an intriguing subject; we are so consumed by our busy lives day and night that sometimes we are unable to notice what our mind and body are going through. And dreams help us notice that; its kind of like a horoscope, when you dream of falling you're feeling insecure about something, when you dream about kisses you're thinking about physical affection that you're presently lacking, if you're dreaming about cockroaches you have a problem that is persistently bugging you...
its so funny because when you read stuff about this its almost as if its all obvious. However, its like a path of discovery; you don't really notice what is in front of you.

...people are misinterpreting valentine's day; its about loving everyone around you, not just one person...

.. or maybe i'm just saying that because I'm cynical :P

barbaric vs. civilized

In our civilized society, I find it really interesting how brutal people can be on the streets when they're driving. People seem to find power in their vehicle; a machine that allows them to have greater speed, power, and quote on quote SIZE (hummers must be VERY arrogant). Anyways, I think that I'm somebody who is fairly nice. But even when I'm driving if someone in front of me is driving too slowly, my rage meter starts going up and I feel compelled to honk or yell at them. It's like youtubing and flaming. Its like our inner barbarian is coming out.
However when i drive past them, to get a good look of course, i suddenly see an old man, or a family, or rather... a classmate, a human being. It makes me remember that they are human, and in other situations outside the street, we would be friends or at least, cordial to each other.
We just have to remember to let it go; if someone pisses you off on the street, don't seek vengeance. The one who stops the violence stops the war.

Passion, don't lose it.

What is it? It is the ability to appreciate the beauty of an object that is not necessarily understood by everyone. I find that by being able to be passionate about a numerous amount of things enables me to find happiness in life in general. For many people i talk to, sometimes they struggle in discussing whatever it is in life they are passionate about. Some even answer "...tv?" Then they shrug and go about their daily routines. But i feel in order to be passionate one has to undergo an educational process in which they can achieve a foundation of true understanding. It explains the difference between someone who falls asleep during an opera compared to someone that is moved to tears by it. Being passionate requires a knowledge and inner emotion that draws attention from the observer to its most intimate detail. That is what I think is so beautiful about passion.

Personally, I'm passionate about so many different things. Mostly related to the arts since I'm so visually and aurally connected to everything around me. I was on my way to class when the rain was pouring. In a smart situation I wouldn't have gone to class since I'm already sick and we were only watching a movie, but a very important paper was due. Through the cold and wetness I discovered something beautiful, the pavements became reflections, literally. The puddles created a mirror when i walked and right there and then i wish i had my camera. It reminded me of this experimental film done by a Dutch director way early in the day (man i forgot his name) who simply captured footage of a rainstorm in different angles and locations. But it is beautiful in the fact that that moment in time will never occur again. Wow, i love art. I love my passion for art.